I know MOST people think that New Year's Eve is on December 31st... but for teachers... it's not. Honestly, I'm struggling to remember the last time I actually stayed up 'till midnight on December 31st! My real New Year's Eve is the night before I start school for the year. I can't believe it, but tomorrow I will start my 13th year of teaching. Wow. I have no idea how that happened.Anyway... just as most people get emotional and nostalgic on December 31st - I am feeling those things tonight. As I put Nicholas to bed tonight, I stood over his crib and cried. I feel so many different things right now.
First of all, I feel thankful to have been given this very special time with my special little boy. We spent so much time together this summer - nothing fancy... just time. And I know a lot of moms that would give anything for that... time. I pushed him for countless hours on the swing. I pulled him for countless hours in the wagon (or... as he calls it... the "bump bump"). I have served him countless lunches and snacks, and given him countless hugs and kisses this summer. I think it's these times, that seemed trivial at the time, that mean so much to me now.
I also, in typical New Year's fashion, feel a little bit sad tonight, because summer is over
. I know that now, we will get much less time together, and that the time we will have will sometimes feel rushed, or wasted by running errands, or some other meaningless activity. I also know that next summer... he will be SO much older and SO much more independent. Man, we'll be thinking about having his 3rd birthday! I hope this year goes slowly...But I'm also feeling excited tonight. I'm excited about Nicholas's second birthday, and dressing up for Halloween, and picking out our Christmas tree, and watching Nicholas grow and learn, to become the amazing kid I know he'll be (but already is).
I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I guess I never expected the roller coaster of emotions that come with motherhood. I honestly never thought that I could love another human being this much. I'm sure that I am the luckiest person on the planet. And I keep telling myself... summer will come again next year.
Is it too soon to start counting the days???
2 comments:
Beautiful post! I totally understand what you are saying. We are lucky to have a job that lets us spend so much time with our little ones and you are right, summer will come again next year. Absolutely it is not to early to start counting down the days. See you in the a.m.
Well Said. Very emotional to read. Your an amazing momma! Love you very much.
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