Antigua Cutler 1998-2012

It is with a very heavy heart that I announce the passing of our beloved dog, Antigua. Man, I just reread that sentence, and I can't even believe I wrote it. Today will surely go down as one of the saddest days of my life. I always knew it would come - it's the day all pet owners dread, but accept as inevitable. If only that lessened the hurt that I feel tonight.

This came as a complete shock to us. He was just fine 24 hours ago. He went to doggie daycare on Wednesday and spent half of his day yesterday running up and down the hall with Nicholas, who was torturing him with a cookie. This morning, however, was a different story. Something was clearly wrong, and by 11:00 this morning, I was scrambling to write sub plans and rushing to Cheshire animal hospital. Apparently he had a malignant tumor on his spleen that was bleeding into his abdomen. He died at 1:15 this afternoon. Todd and I were with him the whole time, holding his head and whispering what a good dog he was and how much we loved him into his ear. It was very peaceful. We are having him cremated and will spread his ashes at Highland Lake, his most special place.

Antigua had such a gentle soul. We used to joke that if the house was ever burglarized, he would help the robber find the box for the DVD player. He was sweet and gentle and loving and loyal and beautiful and a little stupid - everything a good dog should be. He also hated going up stairs and riding in the car - things a dog should love to do! He had a wonderful personality - full of quirkiness, and we loved him for it.

I have always referred to Tigua as my first born. Todd and I raised him from a tiny puppy that we brought home on New Year's Eve, 1998. He's been here for every major milestone in our marriage - the good and the bad. He loved all of us unconditionally, and we loved him as a member of this family. He never had a problem when Nicholas came in and stole his thunder. He was there at the 3:00 feedings and sniffed all the stinky diapers. He ate EVERY crumb of food that Nicholas dropped on the floor - both by mistake and on purpose. And he suffered through the temper tantrums and the kicks and the stepped on paws - all with the grace and dignity of a wise old dog. And even though he often acted as Nicholas's personal punching bag, he would not go to sleep at night without at least one of Nicholas's sneakers in his bed.

Like most dog lovers, I read Marley and Me, and I specifically remember the author dedicating the book to his first dog, to whom all future dogs would be compared, but would never live up to. That's how I feel about my Tigua now. Although I know that other dogs will live in this house - none of them will ever replace my sweet Antigua. We love you buddy and know that you are up in heaven with a pile of bones and a huge field to run in. We miss you already and hope that you're looking down on us tonight, thankful for your beautiful life. Until we meet again old friend...